Finding Fulfillment in Stillness: Lessons from an EMT’s Slow Day

In our fast-paced world, the idea of productivity is often synonymous with constant action. However, an experience during my days as an EMT revealed a profound truth about productivity and fulfillment. One slow day, my partner and I found ourselves parked in our ambulance, waiting for a call. Hours went by, and a sense of anxiety began to creep in. I realized I was restless because I felt the need to be productive.

The Search for Productivity

To quell this restlessness, I began organizing equipment in the back of the ambulance. When that didn’t help, I took a walk and struck up conversations with people nearby. Despite these efforts, the anxious feeling persisted. It was then that I decided to sit quietly and meditate, seeking clarity on what productivity truly meant.

The Epiphany

During my meditation, I asked, “What does productive mean? What can I do to be productive?” The answer that came to me was simple yet profound: “Productive is feeling fulfilled without having to do.” This revelation felt liberating. It suggested that true productivity is not always about tangible actions or accomplishments, but can also be about a state of being.

Understanding Fulfillment Without Action

The idea of feeling fulfilled without having to do challenges our conventional understanding of productivity. It invites us to explore a deeper sense of fulfillment that comes from within. But what does this really mean, and how can we experience it?

  1. Presence in the Moment: Often, our sense of fulfillment is tied to future achievements or past successes. Being present in the moment, fully aware and accepting of our current state, allows us to find peace and contentment without external validation.
  2. Self-Acceptance: Embracing who we are, with all our strengths and flaws, helps us feel whole. This self-acceptance reduces the need to constantly prove ourselves through actions and accomplishments.
  3. Inner Peace: Cultivating inner peace through practices like meditation, mindfulness, or simply sitting quietly can lead to a profound sense of fulfillment. This peace is not dependent on external circumstances but comes from a calm and centered mind.
  4. Gratitude: Recognizing and appreciating the simple joys in life, such as a quiet moment, the beauty of nature, or a heartfelt conversation, can provide a sense of fulfillment. Gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have.

Moving From Idea to Experience

Awareness of this concept is just the beginning. To truly embody this wisdom, we need to practice it. Here are some steps to integrate this understanding into our daily lives:

  • Daily Reflection: Set aside time each day for reflection or meditation if you can. Ask yourself what truly makes you feel fulfilled and pay attention to moments when you feel content without external achievements. If setting aside time each day is not an option, use a minute or two while you are showering, using your bathroom break, washing dishes, or even when you are watching your child’s games or practices. Being aware and directing ones thoughts can even be done during conversations we are having.
  • Mindful Activities: Engage in activities that promote mindfulness, such as walking in nature, journaling, or simply sitting quietly. These activities help anchor us in the present moment.
  • Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion by being kind to yourself, especially during times of inactivity. Remind yourself that your worth is not tied to constant doing. Turn your kind, encouraging, empowering talking skills towards yourself as well, not just towards others you love.
  • Embrace Stillness: Allow yourself to experience stillness in the presence of quilt or fear. Choose stillness to be the focus of your attention as quilt may remain in the background.  Understand that being still and present can be as productive as any action, as it nurtures your inner well-being.

Conclusion

The lesson I learned on that slow day as an EMT remains a powerful reminder that productivity is not merely about doing, but also about being. Feeling fulfilled without constant action is a profound form of productivity that brings inner peace and contentment. By embracing this wisdom, we can lead richer, more balanced lives, finding joy and fulfillment in the stillness as much as in the action.

Lao Tzu wisely said, “By doing nothing, everything is done.”

If you are struggling to find your fulfilled experience, let us explore stillness together. Contact me for a session for any of my services.

Embracing Guilt: A Path to Healing in Craniosacral Therapy

In the realm of CranioSacral Therapy and SomatoEmotional Release, the journey toward shifting our lives for the better encompasses not only physical well-being but also emotional and spiritual harmony. Within this holistic framework, emotions like guilt are not viewed as isolated occurrences but as integral aspects of our Spirit – Mind – Body connection. In this blog I am exploring how guilt can serve as a valuable guide in the context of CST and SER.

Understanding the Body-Mind-Spirit Connection

Craniosacral therapy acknowledges the interplay between the physical body, the mind, and the spirit. It recognizes that emotional and psychological experiences are stored within the body, often manifesting as tension, discomfort, or illness. SER, a technique within craniosacral therapy, facilitates the release of these stored emotions, allowing for profound healing on multiple levels.

Guilt as an Expression of Imbalance

In the context of craniosacral therapy, guilt is not merely an abstract emotion but a tangible expression of imbalance within the body-mind-spirit system. When we experience guilt, it can manifest as physical tension or discomfort, signaling a disconnection from our authentic selves – as Dr. Upledger called It; the Inner Physician – or a violation of our innermost values. Through SER, we can explore the root causes of guilt and facilitate its release from the body.

Cultivating Awareness and Compassion

Central to the practice of craniosacral therapy is the cultivation of awareness and compassion. When clients experience feelings of guilt, therapists provide a safe and nurturing space for exploration and healing. Rather than judging or suppressing these emotions, clients are gently encouraged to approach them with curiosity and self-compassion, fostering a deeper understanding of their underlying causes.

The Nature of Thought -Realigning with Authenticity

Our thoughts are the lens through which we perceive the world. They shape our beliefs, attitudes, and actions. However, not all thoughts are created equal. Some stem from a place of authenticity and alignment with our true selves, while others are distorted by societal expectations, fears, or insecurities.

When we experience guilt, it’s a signal that our thoughts may have strayed from their natural, authentic state. It suggests that we’ve acted in a way that contradicts our deepest values or principles. Rather than dismissing guilt as an unwanted burden, we can choose to embrace it as a signpost pointing us back to our true path.

Through the process of SomatoEmotional Release, guilt can be transformed from a source of pain into a catalyst for growth and transformation. As clients release stored emotions and integrate new insights, they experience profound shifts in consciousness and well-being. Guilt becomes not a burden to be carried, but a stepping stone on the path to healing and self-discovery.

Conclusion: Embracing Guilt on the Path to Wholeness

In the journey of craniosacral therapy and somatoemotional release, guilt is not something to be feared or avoided but embraced as a natural part of the healing process. By acknowledging and exploring feelings of guilt with compassion and openness, one of my clients uncovered profound insights regarding his teenage car accident that caused him to live with “survivor’s guilt” in his young adulthood. This thought pattern of guilt of living was shown to him as his young 4-year-old son got injured any time he was exploring the outside world; the playground, the woods, the ocean.  My client was searching for help for his son’s unexplainable accidents. During a session, his Inner Physician brought him to the memory of his own car accident and showed him that his wish is to hold that memory with self blame, hence quilt.  Once my client understood that the exact memory of his accident can be looked at with a different perspective a deep healing was facilitated on all levels of their being. Yes, their being. Both the father and the son received the release from burden. This took place about 6 years ago. The now 10 year old son is happy and active and had no recurring accidents since. The father received an unexpected promotion at work too in addition to his more peaceful mind.

Let us embrace guilt as a guide on the path to wholeness and authentic living, trusting in the innate wisdom of our Spirit – Mind – Body connection.

Guiltless Mind, Connection and Peace

In the year of 1970 a song was written by a Hungarian band named Omega.  The song is called: Ballad of a Gunsmith’s Son.

“Winter runs through the night
Snow-frost blooms
A life weeps in a new cradle.
His father lifts him up
This child will  be a gunsmith
If I live to that.
And so it happened
But one day the son said
Let us not make guns any more
There will be no war, tearful and sad
I will see everyone happy
With a small bell that he casted
He puts on migrant’s clothes
And wonders all the world with his bell.
The song of the bell softly sings
That no one can hear
And everyone laughs at him who sees him.
One day he returns, stands but barely lives
He is no longer the one who left with eyes closed
His father laughs; just open your eyes
In such a world guns are needed

I know, I know, I know your heart is broken
And yet, still you have to understand
I know, I know, I know your heart is aching
And yet, still you have to understand”

You can listen to the song here:

The following is an excerpt from Lincoln”s speech 200 some years ago…

“The world has never had a good definition of the word liberty, and the American people, just now, are much in want of one. We all declare for liberty; but in using the same we do not all mean the same. What constitutes the bulwark of our liberty and independence? It is not our frowning battlements, our bristling seacoasts. These are not our reliance against tyranny. Our reliance is in the love of liberty which God has planted in our bosoms. Our defense is in the preservation of the spirit which prizes liberty as the heritage of men, in lands, everywhere. Destroy this spirit, and you have planted the seeds of despotism around your own doors. At what point shall we expect the approach of danger? By what means shall we fortify against it?”

The Dalai Lama was once asked why he didn’t fight back against the Chinese when he was exiled from Tibet. He replied, “because war is obsolete, you know.” Then he paused and, in a more serious tone, said that “the mind can always rationalize fighting back, but the heart will never understand it. We would then be divided in ourselves (the heart and the mind,) and the war would be inside us.”

A client of mine going through a serious medical diagnosis came to see me for relief. We talked about her family situation and in her sharing and our conversation, she recognized the war that is going on inside her. On one hand; she feels sorrow for one family member she feels she needs to protect. On the other hand; she is angry with the one she feels she needs to protect herself and others from.

In Dr. Bert Hellinger’s work, he identified three key elements in the family system:
1) A child’s need to belong
2) A child’s need for social hierarchy (order of birth regardless of living or passed family members)
3) A child’s need in balance of giving and receiving
If one of these elements is out of balance, the family system on a sub-conscious level starts to work on repairing itself. These sub-conscious attempts may show up in a family member developing illness, loss of income, difficulty relating to others etc… This does not have to be!

It is so important to recognize the war that is going on in our own minds. Healing starts from within. In our own backyard. With our own family. The son of a gunsmith remembers that Spirit within. Lincoln also did. Ghandi, the Dalai Lama, so many others too. And so can we! It Is Time!

Courageous Cat

A few nights ago I was woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of an animal crying.  Since I was used to having baby deer in my backyard crying for their mother, and I was still half asleep, I did not think much of it.  The crying would stop and then start again and it went on all night.

When the sun started to come up and I was able to see the backyard from my window, I saw a cat sitting on the lower roof of my house.  He was crying, because he could not find his way down.  How did he get there in the first place is a wonder also.

As I slowly opened the window to reach for him, he got startled and ran down to the gutter and was weighing his options there. My husband went outside and took a long wooden board from the garage that reached all the way up to the roof, in hopes he would leave it there and the cat would walk down.  As my husband was carefully approaching the roof, the cat ran up to the top where he was previously sitting and without hesitation, jumped to the higher roof. From there he found his way to the other side of the house where a tree was giving him the support to make his way down into safety.

Later on I found it interesting that all night he was scared, crying and afraid to move. Even when the sun came up. The upper roof – opportunity – was there for him, yet being scared of us – not knowing we were there to help – gave him the “adrenalin” he needed and did something he did not think he could before. He jumped up to the upper roof.  The ability was in him all along, he just needed a “push”.

This happening made me think… and asked myself the questions I am asking you now too…

Where in your life do you feel stuck, see a possibility, but do not think you can make something happen? Can you use your fear to get you out of this stuck place you think you maybe in? Are you aware that help is available?

“If you enter into the discipline necessary to bring about a radical change in your life, you must do deliberately, after giving the matter careful thought and full consideration and then you must allow nothing to interfere with your decision.” – Charles Haanel

This beautiful gray cat considered the spout and decided not to go for it. He looked up to the upper roof a few times and did not decide to go for it either, till he felt there was need for a “radical change”.  After all those considerations, he did not allow his fear to keep him where he was… he made a quantum leap and found his way home.

 

 

 

Healing through Somato-Emotional Release (SER)

A client mentioned an unwanted happening in her marriage to which she kept having the same reaction. She cringed. Like most people, she wanted this unwanted happening to end by stopping her husband’s action from happening.

Recognizing a Pattern

As we tapped into what actually was happening through her, she realized and heard a physical experience of a static noise in her head. To the question whether she remembers this noise happening before in her life, she noted a particular event with her mother in which she found herself thinking “I did not want this, I don’t know what to do”. She felt so stressed at that time that she needed to leave her mother’s house. She went to the beach and shared her thoughts with a friend.

Connection and Growth

At the time she did not know, but in our SER session she understood, that as she was talking to her friend, she was also working her thoughts out within herself, and she recognized that what what she wanted was connection and growth in her relationship with her mother. She was able to reconcile her discontent with her mother and their relationship became stronger. She was able to face her mother’s decisions with compassion and support.

The Saving Grace in Saving a Marriage

In her mind and relationship with her husband, this same concept did not exist. She wanted her husband to stop doing what she did not want or knew how to deal with. She was contemplating a divorce. Her experience was the same – cringing, static noise and, not knowing what to do – but this time she had resentment on her mind when she talked about the situation. As she connected the dots of symptoms and thought patterns, she came to the understanding that her choice of resentment is a detour from creating a happy marriage.

Making a Decision

She made the decision to think of her husband that same loving way she thought about her mother. Not because she felt her husband deserved it, but because she remembered who SHE was. She decided to remember love within and take action from that memory. A simple change like this moved their relationship from going forward with the divorce she was contemplating to keeping the dancing in their marriage alive.

 

A Thought on Being Productive

A couple years ago I was working late at night and was sitting in an ambulance waiting for a call. The night was slow, we had just a few calls to respond to. As my partner and I were sitting and waiting, I started to get antsy. I was feeling bored.  First I thought I was just going to take a walk, but I decided to take my time and get into my happy place instead. I noticed that feeling antsy was my signal that I wanted to feel something better than bored. I asked what I would love. I came to the conclusion that I wanted to be productive. At that moment I could not think of anything I could do to make that happen, so I sat back and meditated. Later on I realized sitting back and meditating is also an action, just not the way I believed being productive would ease my boredom.

In my meditation, memories of my childhood came in mind. Particularly my dad and grandfather. I heard their words: “being a productive member of society” fairly often. They were hard workers and I hardly ever saw them sit and relax. I saw myself believing in their words and learned to live the same way.

I turned to my Inner Wisdom to show me what “productive” means. I received a beautiful feeling of relaxation and with that the words:

“Feeling fulfilled without having to do”. 

My boredom was gone instantly, I felt happy and fulfilled for the rest of the night without another patient to attend to.  

The following morning this daily quote was sitting in my inbox from the Hicks Foundation:

“Your action has nothing to do with your abundance! Your abundance is a response to your vibration. Of course, your belief is part of your vibration. So if you believe that action is part of what brings your abundance, then you’ve got to unravel that.”

If you would like to explore your path to “feeling fulfilled without having to do” or become a better listener of your Intuition, my Life Coaching (online or in person) programs can help. You’ll be glad you made the call.